Costume drama

With my animosity toward Halloween well-documented, it should come as no surprise that I’ve never had a Halloween costume. And, no, I do not consider the old pair of nylons I wore over my head during my only trick-or-treating excursion a costume.

That foolishness occurred when I was young and stupid and thought walking all over the holler to get candy I was too picky to eat sounded like a splendid idea. Of course, in subsequent years, I’ve had opportunities to dress up for Halloween parties or take part in costume contests at school or work. Indeed, such an opportunity presented itself this year. I politely declined the invitation because, well, I hate Halloween and I will not waste money on an outfit I can wear only once a year.

To be clear, what others do with their money is their business. It’s nothing to me if they want to plunk down their hard-earned dough to while away a few hours dressed as a naughty nurse or demented doctor.

But such luxuries are not for me.

Then again, I have no idea how much adult costumes cost. For all I know, you might be able to purchase a catchy costume for next to nothing. That would still be too much for me, though. After all, I paid only a buck-ten for a new pair of pants back in the summer. So, no matter how little I gave for a costume, I’d keep thinking about how I could have better spent that money.

Besides, I can wear those pants all year. After Halloween, I could wear a Darth Vader helmet only two or three times before arousing the suspicions of associates at the Supercenter and finding myself subject to a shakedown at the store’s exit.

At this point, you might be thinking to yourself, “Self, what’s the difference between a Halloween costume and Christmas sweaters and sweatshirts? You can’t wear them all year, either, so why isn’t she up on her high horse about that?”

Those are fair questions. But whilst also seasonal, you could get by with wearing a sweater emblazoned with rambunctious reindeer from Thanksgiving to New Year’s. I would not, however, suggest wearing such an ensemble to a Fourth of July cookout.

And I’m aware that some folks use a little imagination and a few well-placed props to transform everyday attire into dazzling Halloween costumes. The idea of using my imagination exhausts me, so I’ll slip into my buck-ten pants and rifle through my great-niece’s Halloween bucket for candy I’m still too picky to eat.

This post originally appeared in the Appalachian News-Express.

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The color purple

Over the past few years, I’ve noticed that more and more people are using purple in their Halloween decorations and that more or more younglings are carrying plastic purple pumpkins whilst trick and/or treating. I’ve always associated purple with Easter or royalty, so this trend was a headscratcher. I’ve studied on it quite a bit and asked around, but nobody seems to care, much less have an answer.

Thankfully, I remembered I have access to a handy invention called the Internets, so I consulted the Google.

According to my research, purple represents a witch and her brew. Once I thought about it, Halloweenwise, the color usually accompanies a witch. Indeed, just the other day I saw a front door decorated with a witch flying against a purple background.

So, that’s that, right?

No.

Although I had my answer, I was not ready to conclude my investigation. Instead, I recalled all those porches, fences, and houses adorned with green lights and asked myself, “Self, what’s up with green vis-à-vis Halloween? Are folks confusing the event with Christmas or is there more to it?”

Spoiler alert: There’s more to it.

Green, as it turns out, symbolizes monsters and goblins.

Again, that makes sense. Frankenstein’s monster and the Wicked Witch of the West have green skin and the left field wall at Fenway Park is literally called the Green Monster.

I felt so much wiser, yet I also felt there was more knowledge to acquire in regards to Halloween colors. I was not wrong. Red has become connected with Halloween because it’s the color of blood while white is chosen to signify ghosts, mummies, skeletons, moonlight, and other ghastly sights.

If you count orange and black, aka the traditional Halloween colors, the holiday now claims six hues. I’m not here to hate on Halloween, but what is it going to capitalize on next? Burnt sienna?

This post originally appeared in the Appalachian News-Express.