This weekend, I spent time with my niece and her kids, my great-niece and great-nephew (emphasis on great). With my great-nephew playing his hand-held video game, my great-niece took control of the TV.

“What she watches on TV is just as stupid as what he watches,” my niece warned me.

Oh, no, thought I. My memory returned to a day last spring when I watched my great-nephew watch countless YouTube videos of paint being mixed. And I’m not talking about the way Tony Manero mixes paint in Saturday Night Fever. The video featured mind-numbing clip after mind-numbing clip of paint mixing in cups. This nonsense, however, had transfixed the world’s most adorable boy.

This weekend his sister showed me relaxing videos of slime in various forms. At first, the little voices inside my head howled in pain. But then, I kind of got into the slime videos, in part, because I had questions.

Question: “Why are you watching relaxing videos?”

Answer: “I found them.”

Interpretation: She went looking for slime videos because slime looks like snot.

Question: “The slime you and your brother play with is, well, slimy and looks like snot. How did they turn some of this slime into stuff that looks like frosting or blueberry muffins or a pillow or, oh my, that one looks like a brain. A green brain. How did they do that?”

Answer: “I don’t know.”

Interpretation: Just enjoy the show.

When I returned home, I asked our friend Google for help in answering my questions. It seems these relaxing slime videos may or may not be simulated. As this left me even more confused, I have decided to, indeed, just enjoy the show.

Anyway, whilst still at my niece’s, I told my great-niece I had to run errands later.

My great-niece: “Aaron’s? You’re going to that store? Aaron’s?”

Me: “No, I have to run errands.”

My great-niece: “What are errands?”

My niece: “Like this morning when we went to the store and the library.”

My great-niece: “Why don’t you just say you have plans?”

My niece also told me that she and the children are scheduled to go on a field trip to a pumpkin patch.

Me: “That sounds like fun. May I go?”

My niece: “No. Parents can’t go.”

My great-niece (to me): “Oh, that’s great! You don’t have kids! You can go with us!”

Readers, I think this clear-headedness on behalf of the world’s most adorable girl is a direct result of watching relaxing slime videos.

This post originally appeared in the Appalachian News-Express.

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