A couple weeks ago, I was in my house, working remotely and minding my own business, when I noticed a car pull up beside my mailbox. It wasn’t the mail person or a car that was familiar to me, so I paid attention.
A few days prior, I had put out some “trash” that solid waste hadn’t picked up. When the driver of the mystery car exited the vehicle, I hoped he planned to turn my trash into his treasure because that would have kept me from having to figure out what to do with it.
Instead, he pulled a box from his car, strolled up my driveway, and deposited the box on my porch.
I said to myself, “Self, what the expletive?”
Granted, I had placed an order for my mom, but I’m not used to packages being delivered in random automobiles. Thus, I consulted my sisters and nieces. The conversation went “something” like this.
“Guys, a man in a (color redacted) car that looked like an old school Monte Carlo just dropped off a package on my porch. Does that seem right?”
“What’s a Monte Carlo?” asked a niece
“It was a car,” said I.
“Would they still be on the road?” asked a sister. “I don’t think they’ve made them in decades.”
“I said it looked like a Monte Carlo.”
“Do you mean Monte Carlo like the city in Europe?” asked a niece.
“Yeah, like where Princess Grace lived,” said a sister.
“Who is Princess Grace?” asked a niece.
“What kind of nonsense is this?! Princess Grace was a legend!” wailed I. “I’m going to disown you heatherns, but first, will someone please answer my question about people in random cars delivering packages.”
“Oh, that’s normal,” answered a niece. “You never know what kind of car or who will deliver your packages.”
Huh. Although I have been fortunate to work from home since March, I haven’t noticed a difference in delivery services because it’s not like I frequently utilize their services. Indeed, since March, I can count on one hand the times I’ve had packages too large to fit inside my mailbox delivered. And I’d still have at least two fingers remaining.
’Tis the season to place orders, however, and the man in a (color redacted) car that looks like an old school Monte Carlo has made a couple additional trips to my porch.
Unfortunately, the trash remains beside the mailbox because I still haven’t figured out what to do with it.
This post originally appeared in the Appalachian News-Express.