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Just add water

To help reach their weight loss goals, many people count the calories (or in the case of Weight Watchers, the points) that comprise the food they eat. On a personal note, doing this has proven helpful to me, especially when I take the effort to log said calories or points into a food journal or app. For me, it’s a way to hold myself accountable. After all, once I confess to having eaten a couple (or more) cups of brownie batter, I can’t pretend it didn’t happen.

With that said (or written), I’ve seen some strange things on food labels. For example, according to the nutrition facts, one-twentieth dry mix of a box of brownies contains 110 calories.

As aforementioned, I enjoy brownie batter. Indeed, I’d rather eat the batter than the brownies. (This is also true for most cookies and cakes.) But even a weirdo such as myself has never eaten dry brownie mix. I’ve never even considered opening a box, grabbing a spoon, and digging into the mix. Can you imagine how much water you’d have to drink to keep from suffocating on that stuff?

Speaking of dry ingredients, if you look on a box of pasta, you will find that the nutritional info is for uncooked noodles. When she was a child, my niece stuck a macaroni noodle up her nose. I’m also familiar with people who have fashioned art from macaroni. But I have never known anyone who (admitted to) having eaten uncooked pasta. Again, there is not enough water in the world to make that appetizing.

Speaking of water, if you look on a can of green beans, you will find that the nutritional label contains information for both drained and undrained beans. While I appreciate the green bean company for trying to be helpful, they’ve actually made calorie counting more confusing.

For starters, the serving sizes are different. That means I’m left to my own devices to figure out how many calories are in one-third of a cup of drained beans when the serving size is one-half cup. I’m assuming the company has an abacus and a food scale in their kitchen, so couldn’t they have done some more measuring and done the math for me?

What’s more, does anybody actually eat undrained beans? Granted, dining on beans that are swimming in water doesn’t sound as unappealing as snacking on dry brownie mix and uncooked pasta, but it’s close.

This post originally appeared in the Appalachian News-Express.

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