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Driving me crazy

The cat haters are at it again. Last week, they released a report linking cat ownership to mental illness.photo(1)

I’ve heard it all before. Indeed, this breaking “news” sounds suspiciously like a 2010 report that made similar accusations against cats. As far as I’m concerned, it’s more of the same anti-feline propaganda that began when the first old wife started the tale that cats steal babies’ breath.

For a society that loves watching videos of cute little kitties frolicking in boxes or playing the piano, there also seems to be a lot of pent-up animosity toward felines. A few years ago, another set of researchers blamed cats for the decline in the avian population. The bird apologists must have never heard the phrase “survival of the fittest.”

But it’s not just scientists. By using such expressions as “crazy cat lady,” regular citizens also try to advance an anti-feline agenda. Think about it. If a woman adopts eight or nine dogs, she’s got a big heart. If she takes in the same number of cats, she’s lost her mind.

I love my dog as much as I love my cats, so I don’t understand this need to separate the world into dog people and cat people. It’s not like Pepsi and Coke or Peyton Manning and Tom Brady. We don’t have to choose.

I’ve lost count of the number of people who, upon learning I have three cats, feel the need to share their antipathy toward felines. For some reason I do not understand, they list reasons for this repulsion including, but not limited to, allergies, a preference for dogs (of course) and a matter of trust.

Yes, trust. Recently, someone went on a minutes-long tirade in which she repeatedly expressed her hatred of cats who, in her words, cannot be trusted.

I’ll have her know cats can be trusted to literally walk all over you as you try to sleep, to act like they’re starving to death as soon as they can see the bottom of their bowl and to wake you every morning – even on weekends – at precisely 6:40 a.m.

Another complaint frequently leveled against cats is that they skulk around the house during the night. I can’t speak for every cat in the world, but mine do not demonstrate such behavior. I know this because I get up to go to the bathroom at least six times a night and they’re always snoozing away at my feet, above my head or on the DVR.

Hey, I realize cats, and pets in general, are not for everyone. But I guess I just want everyone to know that it’s not my cats’ fault that I’m crazy.

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